Enjoying Motherhood, Without an Enjoyable Mother ~ on Mother’s Day

There are so many different points of views from motherhood on Mother’s Day.  Mother’s day can be joyful and heartbreaking for so many women out there. Let me share how it is both Joyful and hurtful to me. And how I choose Joy with a side of grace.

In my college days, I had friends that had to call their mommas when they were going somewhere. Or they had to ask for permission or input from their parents to do something.

If I am going to be real, I thought to myself, that they needed to grow up. Get out on their own, make choices on their own and embrace the life the Lord is leading them into.

See I had done a lot on my own and taken a hard path to be who I was, I had to make a choice on who I was going to be and to work towards that without the help of an involved, caring, helpful mother. (or father~ But this is about motherhood so I will stick to that) I saw making these choices on my own as a great strength, a strength that I thought all women should have, could have, even if they had wonderful mothers.

I was determined to be one that was going to love the unloveable and not be like my mother~ If we are all going, to be honest here, those with not great mother-figures have the fear of being just like our mothers.

In pursuit of this, the Lord guided me as I searched for the Him!

I found Him. I found Him in the good, and He found me in the ugly.

I found Him when I purposely looked for the good as I did not dwell on the hurtful evil things.

He saw me when I was broken and lost from so many hurtful things.

I found Him when I realized that it wasn’t my strength after all. And all women can have this strength if they seek for it.

He found me weak, in need of strength.

I didn’t make great, life inspiring choices always, but the Lord kept me close to Him and for that, I am so very grateful.

I always knew that selfishness was at the root of all the evil I had witnessed and despised.

 The constant urge to not be selfish lead me to the most unselfish man, Jesus!

I learned to embrace what I had and the hope that the Lord would one day use all the ‘not-so-pretty’ (AKA ~brokeness) for His glory. I would just have to let go of the hurt for Him to use it. (If you have been here, you know this is harder than it sounds)

We (those that seek after this pursuit that leads us to Jesus) learn to embrace the gift of the church and how that becomes family.

We learn to rejoice in that just the right people come along and make you feel at home. This brings a healing that the Lord ushers in you, through years of others being selfless and joyful givers of their love, time and space. Enabling me to realize with humility that the oh, so, the important relationship between a daughter and momma is invaluable at any age and that is what can make beloved girls to be strong women, tackling the hard life that comes their way.

Then I became pregnant with my first child.

And year after year Mother’s day comes around and you are the one that embraces You as a mother because you can not celebrate the one that gave birth to you. For you have not talked in years and last time you talked she didn’t even remember when your birthday was.

Before children, I could ignore this day and go to the beach. But now, now it has to be embraced with grace. I am at a point where I am looking forward to sitting in the pew together with my boys praying and praising Jesus for all He has restored and made beautiful.

I share all of this to say the Lord is gracious and redeems the years the locust ate. In other words, He gives you grace and fills in those empty gaps that are hollow until He restores it with only the love and fulfillment He can provide.

You may have a wonderful momma that has been a steadfast strength for you through the years.

You may be the women that has to walk with a rotten relationship with your mother and needs to find rest and restoration in Jesus before you can enjoy motherhood fully one day.

You may be that momma that needs to make the selfless choices to be a good momma to your gifts, known as your children.

No matter what your circumstances are, you have to make the choice on your own to love our children and husbands with a selfless, unconditional love. From experience that does not come naturally.

We need to lean heavily on Jesus with a trust that He will fill in the gaps of our children where we may leave some open wounds.

When we enjoy our Jesus with trust and obedience we can enjoy and trust the ones we love most, our families. And most of all they can enjoy and trust us, their momma’s!

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